GET AUTHOR P.L. FRANK’S OUTRAGEOUS NEW BOOK!
Get
Not For Public Consumption Now!
Click here to get this book at Amazon.com
Click here to get this book at BARNES & NOBLE
~ ~ ~
~
Email the author: franklyspeaking@hotmail.com
Visit the author’s webpage: http://www.myspace.com/plfrank
____________________________________________________
Click here to listen to more
music from musician Jason Brock
Subway
Vision
A stage play
____________________
Warning:
Your Condom & Pop Tart Purchases
May Come Back to Haunt You
by
pl frank
I went to the grocery
store this week. Nothing special happened. I stood in a very long line without
even sighing or rolling my eyes. This isn't so bad, I thought. When I finally
reached the young woman in charge of scanning, however, I had to change my
mind. My purchase, she informed me with grave concern, would be 20 percent more
expensive if I did not have a card from The Club.
Now, I have to say, I think this whole business is outrageously unfair. I am
not a member of The Club. Furthermore, I have no interest in ever becoming a
member and let me tell you why. There exists, as you well know, the truism that
in a capitalistic society you cannot get something for nothing. And so it is
with these so-called, “club memberships” that have sprung up in supermarkets
all over the U.S. Now people think they are getting something (great
savings on their grocery bills) for nothing (there are no membership dues to
join and nothing you have to do to maintain your membership) but they are
seriously mistaken. Here is the price one actually pays to be a member of The
Club:
(1) Computerized tracking
lists of all your weekly purchases.
I don't know about you,
but it absolutely creeps me out to know that lists of my purchases are being
compiled and tracked. It creeps me out even more to think about some greasy
little grocery store clerk somewhere in the back room reviewing and scrutinizing
my personal lists of purchases. Maybe he even shares the really good ones with
his coworkers: “Hey, check this one out. You know that Mr. Richard Jones who
always comes in here on Friday nights? Look at how much Preparation H he buys!
No wonder he fidgets around so much when he stands in line.” (yuk, yuk, yuk)
Or, “Did you know that hot chick, Ms. Carol Cherry colors her hair??? And,
check it out...that Ms. Sharon Smith buys stuff to remove facial hair and a
gallon of Ben and Jerry's every week. She has a mustache? Do you
think she's bulimic?”
(2) A Personal Profile is being created about you
based on your buying behaviors.
It goes far beyond the
checkout clerks at your favorite grocery store knowing the trends and
tendencies of your purchases. Oftentimes, these stores have invested in
software packages that create a personal profile of you for the purposes of
predicting (and thereby manipulating) your future buying behaviors. How much
coffee do you buy? How about alcohol? Junk food? Condoms? Home pregnancy tests?
Adult diapers? Do you really want people to have your profile? And, what's
more, what is to keep your employer or insurance company from accessing it in
the future?
(3) Sale of your personal buying habits to marketing departments of companies
who make the products you buy.
Well, this is probably the
most disturbing outcome of today's computerized tracking of purchases by
supermarkets. Remember, in order to become a member of The Club you often need
to complete an application listing your home address and telephone number as
well as your driver's license number and the name and address of your employer.
A friend of mine who is a Club Member recently began receiving postcards from
various companies thanking him for buying their brand of deodorant and
toothpaste. No coupons for money off on future purchases. Just an
acknowledgment that they knew the purchases had been made.
What's next? Postcards proclaiming, “We have noticed from your purchases you
must be having a heavy flow lately. Have you considered buying our Super
Absorbency line?” Or, how about future notices saying, “We hope you have
enjoyed your weekly purchases of our bean dips. Did you know we also offer a line
of anti-flatulence products including our Super Fast Gas Burner that lets you
quiet the storm while still eating all your favorite foods?”
Where is all of this going
to go? There are still so many untapped possibilities. How about organizations
like MADD or Alcoholics Anonymous sending you notices in response to your
alcoholic beverage purchases? Or how about postcards from Weight Watchers or
your local exercise club in response to your weekly purchases of Oreos and Ben
& Jerry's? Perhaps a line or two from your local health clinic after your
purchase of vaginal cream for a yeast infection? Scary stuff.
Better yet, what if these
computerized Club profiles start being used in a court of law? Future lawsuits
for divorce and child custody cases, car accidents, you name it, could soon
hinge on a person's personal profile of buying behavior at the local
supermarket. Just think of it. The possibilities are endless. You could prove
bad parenting practices by using your ex-mate's purchase history of too much
junk food and not enough veggies. Proof of your spouse's regular purchases of
canned chili and navy bean soup, for instance, could be definite grounds for
divorce.
The ability to embarrass, humiliate, and discredit someone is all out there now
in the personal profiles of our shopping behaviors. The blackmail possibilities
are endless. All that is needed is the threat of a subpoena for your records
from the local Piggly Wiggly.
Okay, okay. Maybe I'm being paranoid. Maybe nobody really cares that much.
Maybe in the bigger scheme of things it does not matter who knows what you buy.
All right, fine. But I'm telling you something...someday I am going to hear
that someone is being asked to submit their Groceries-R-Us profile along with
their resume before being considered for employment, a raise, or promotion. Or,
maybe it will be required to run your Super Market Profile in conjunction with
your credit report to be considered for renting an apartment or receiving an
auto or home loan. When that day comes you just remember that I tried to warn
you: the Food and Sundry Police mean trouble.
If you insist on becoming
a Club Member, at least do like the Prescription Drugs Freaks do: Rotate. Get
multiple memberships at several different supermarket chains and shop at a different
one each week. If possible, use an assumed name. You've got to protect
yourself, after all. You certainly don't want your Bud Lite, Doritos, and
National Enquirer purchases to influence
The-Right-Way-of-Doing-Things-Committee some day. If you cannot resist getting
your fair share of the supermarket savings, at least remember this: Once you
become a Club Member, all of your condom and Pop Tart purchases become part of
your Permanent Record. Maybe you can borrow a friend's Membership card for these
purchases.
©pl frank
________________________________________________
(or, why you may want to think twice before
following your dream)
An estimated 300 million people
are living in the United States…
40% of people report feeling
disconnected with their employers
25% of people reportedly just show
up to work to collect a paycheck
62% of people have experienced an
increase in job responsibilities since 2005
32% of people employed full-time
have had to increase their workweek hours since 2004
62% of people who have had to
increase their workloads, have not received a pay raise
Since 2005, after inflation,
weekly earnings for most workers have fallen by 1.5 percent
Only 20% of people in a general
survey said they like their job
More than 50% of workers feel
their employer does not appreciate or reward them well
~ ~ ~ ~
Actors, producers, and directors
held about 157,000 jobs in 2004,
primarily in the motion picture
and video, performing arts, and broadcast industries
Obtaining work as a paid,
full-time actor is rare
The number of qualified actors
exceeds the number of available openings
For the tiny percentage of people
who work as paid full-time actors,
they make an average hourly income
of $23.73 (2005 figures)
Median hourly earnings of actors
were $11.28 in 2004
Median annual earnings for actors
were $15.20 in performing arts companies
and $9.27 in motion picture and
video industries in 2004
Motion picture and television
actors with speaking parts earned a minimum
daily rate of $716 or $2,483 for a
5-day week as of 2005
Of the nearly 100,000 SAG members,
only about 50 might be considered stars.
The average income that SAG
members earn from acting is less than $5,000 a year
Actors in Off-Broadway theaters
received minimums ranging from $493 to $857 a week
as of 2005, depending on the
seating capacity of the theater
Median annual earnings of salaried
producers and directors were $52,840 in 2004
The middle 50 percent of producers
and directors earned between
$35,550 and $87,980 in 2004
Median annual earnings for
producers and directors were $75,200 in motion picture
and video industries, and $43,890
in radio and television broadcasting in 2004
The highest-paid directors work on
Broadway and commonly earn $50,000 per show
~ ~ ~ ~
Musicians, singers, and related
workers held about 249,000 jobs in 2004
Approximately 40 percent of
musicians and singers work part time;
almost half are self-employed
The number of qualified musicians
and singers exceeds the number
of available openings
The vast number of people who
desire to perform as musicians and singers will continue
to greatly exceed the number of
openings
Talent alone is no guarantee of
success: many people start out to become musicians or singers
but leave the profession because
they find the work difficult, the discipline demanding,
and the long periods of
intermittent unemployment unendurable
Median hourly earnings of
musicians and singers were $17.85 in 2004
Median annual earnings of salaried
music directors and composers were $34,570 in 2004
Weekly minimum salaries for
musicians in major orchestras ranged from
about $700 to $2,080 during the
2004–05 performing season
~ ~ ~ ~
Writers working as news analysts,
reporters, and correspondents held about
64,000 jobs in 2004
About 61% of writers worked for
newspaper, periodical, book, and directory publishers
25% of writers worked in radio and
television broadcasting
About 7% of writers working as
news analysts, reporters, and
correspondents were self-employed
in 2004
Competition continues to be keen
for writing jobs in large metropolitan and national newspapers,
broadcast stations and networks,
and magazines
The number of job openings in the
newspaper and broadcasting industries—
in which news analysts, reporters,
and correspondents are employed—
is sensitive to economic ups and
downs because these industries depend on advertising revenue
The number of qualified writers
exceeds the number of available openings
Salaries for writers working as
news analysts, reporters, and correspondents vary widely
Median annual earnings of
reporters and correspondents were $31,320 in 2004
Median annual earnings of writers
working as reporters and correspondents were $30,070
in newspaper, periodical, book,
and directory publishers
and $34,050 in radio and
television broadcasting
Median annual earnings of
broadcast news analysts were $36,980 in May 2004
~ ~ ~ ~
Writers and editors of fiction and
nonfiction held about 320,000 jobs in 2004
More than one-third of writers are
self-employed
Thousands of people work as
freelance writers, earning some income from their articles, books,
and, less commonly, television and
movie scripts
Most fiction and nonfiction
writers support themselves with income derived from other sources
The number of qualified writers
exceeds the number of available openings
Writers and authors held about
142,000 jobs in 2004;
editors, about 127,000 jobs; and
technical writers, about 50,000 jobs
About one-half of the salaried
jobs for writers and editors are in the information sector:
newspaper, periodical, book, and
directory publishers; radio and television broadcasting;
software publishers; motion
picture and sound-recording industries;
Internet service providers, Web
search portals, and data-processing services;
and Internet publishing and
broadcasting.
Substantial numbers of writers
also work in advertising and related services, computer systems design
and related services, and public
and private educational services
Median annual earnings for
salaried writers and authors were $44,350 in 2004
Median annual earnings for
salaried editors were $43,890 in 2004
Median annual earnings of those
working for newspaper, periodical, book, and
directory publishers were $43,620
in 2004
Median annual earnings for
salaried technical writers were $53,490 in 2004
Median annual salary for entry
level technical writers was $42,500 in 2004
Median annual earnings for writers
were $54,410 in advertising and related services in 2004,
and $37,010 for writers working
for newspaper, periodical, book, and directory publishers
~ ~ ~ ~
Artists held about 208,000 jobs in
2004
Approximately 63% of artists are
self-employed.
Of the artists who are not
self-employed, many work in:
advertising and related services;
newspaper, periodical, book, and software publishers;
motion picture and video
industries; specialized design services;
and computer systems design and
related services.
Some self-employed artists offer
their services to advertising agencies, design firms,
publishing houses, and other
businesses on a contract or freelance basis
The number of qualified artists
exceeds the number of available openings
Craft and fine artists work mostly
on a freelance or commission basis, and
most find it difficult to earn a
living solely by selling their artwork
Only the most successful craft and
fine artists receive major commissions for their work
As the use of this technology
grows, there will be fewer opportunities
for artists working as
illustrators
Salaried cartoonists will have
fewer job opportunities because many newspapers and
magazines are increasingly relying
on freelance work
Median annual earnings of salaried
craft artists were $23,520 in 2004
Median annual earnings of salaried
art directors were $63,840 in 2004
Median annual earnings of salaried
multi-media artists and animators were $50,360 in 2004
Most artists find it difficult to
rely solely on income earned from selling paintings
or other works of art
Additionally, like other
self-employed workers, freelance artists must provide
their own health coverage and
other benefits
~ ~ ~ ~
Reports gathered from industry
insiders reveal an estimated
99.99% rejection rate for
publishing a book
(14,999 are rejected for every one
accepted), getting a music contract,
or getting a script accepted for
film
~ ~ ~ ~
Credit card debt rose 31 percent
between 2000 and 2005;
Americans now owe more than $800
billion on credit cards
Americans between the ages of 25
and 34 now boast the second-highest rate of bankruptcy,
just behind the 35-44 group
Adults between the ages of 18 and
24 created a sharp rise in credit card debt from
1992 to 2001 (104 percent increase
in debt)
and now spend close to 30 percent
of their income on debt payments
American savings rate for 2005 was
negative 0.5 percent,
the lowest since the Great
Depression
Americans spent approximately $472
billion more than they earned after taxes
in 2005--double the previous year
-- and a record high
Homeowners took more than $2
trillion in equity out of their properties
between 2002 and 2005
The average American salary is
$39,795 per year ($19.13 per hour)
Almost half of Americans live
paycheck to paycheck
~ ~ ~ ~
The projected average cost of a
4-year college education in 2007:
$70,692 for a public school, and
$150,412 for a private school
On average, less than 50% of
students entering four-year colleges
or universities actually graduate
On average, only approximately 27%
of American adults hold a 4-year college degree
~ ~ ~ ~
Approximately 10% of all Americans
have some form of depression at any given time
20% of Americans will have an
episode of depression at some point during their lives
Between 2-9% of people diagnosed
with depression in the U.S. commit suicide every year
Approximately 40 million American
adults ages 18 and older, (~18% of adults) in any given year, have an anxiety
disorder
A conservative estimate from
professionals in the mental health arena:
4 out of 10 Americans (or 40%)
have some sort of addiction to something including:
alcohol, sex, shopping, eating,
gambling, caffeine, sugar, nicotine, prescribed or illicit drugs
62% of adults and 34% of children
in the U.S. are overweight
~ ~ ~ ~
Approximately 43 % of first
marriages in America end in separation or divorce within 15 years
~ ~ ~ ~
99% of U.S. households have at
least one television
66% of Americans regularly watch
TV while eating dinner
66% of American households have 3
or more televisions
The average American home has the
television set on for more than 7 hours every day
56% of Americans pay for cable TV
6 million videos are rented daily
in the U.S
Sources: U.S. Census Bureau; State of
Working America, 2004/2005 Economic Policy Institute; SMR Research; The Conference Board Marketing Information
Services; sunoasis.com/; Society for Technical Communication; LeadersAsk.com;
American Federation of Musicians; Salary.com; T. Rowe Price; Office of
Employment and Unemployment Statistics, Bureau of Labor Statistics; Federal
Reserve, Survey of Consumer Finances; Council for Aid to Education (CAE);
American College Testing Service; Mayo Clinic, American Journal of Psychiatry;
U.S. Department of Health and Human Services; National Institute of Mental
Health; American Obesity Association; NPD Research Group; National Center for
Health Statistics, Centers for Disease Control and Prevention; A.C. Nielsen
Co.; Census Bureau's Statistical Abstract of the U.S.; National Center for
Health Statistics
_____________________________________________
Could We Just Drive, Please?
by
p.l. frank
Road Rage continues to
make the headlines and to thrive in the United States. In 2007, Auto
Vantage, a Connecticut-based automobile membership club, conducted a study on
road rage. The survey results revealed that drivers in Miami, Florida had
the worst road rage in the U.S.
Other cities topping the
chart of Road Rage Warriors include New York, Boston, Los Angeles and
Washington, D.C. Of course, it is not just major metropolitan areas in which
drivers are acting out in dangerous ways these days.
And who is surprised?
There are a lot of theories out there as to why Road Rage has become so
pervasive these days. Increased stress levels, sleep deprivation, poor coping
skills, social isolation, and even environmental toxins have been blamed. But
maybe it’s not that complicated. Perhaps some people are starting to lose it
because of what so many others have started doing behind the wheel.
With few exceptions we
have become a culture constantly on the move. For many people the car has
become a home away from home, second office, and entertainment center all
rolled into one. Unfortunately, doing more than one thing at a time has proven
too much for some folks to handle, making the roadways a virtual nightmare for
the rest of us. If you ever wonder why the roads are causing some folks to
steam with anger, consider what people are doing while they are driving these
days:
Reading: Are they kidding?
Unbelievably, some people are actually doing full-on reading while trying to
drive these days. Maps, newspapers, magazines, even books are being propped-up
against steering wheels as people attempt to drive. The last time I checked,
both driving and reading required full concentration and visual focus. So which
activity are these people deciding to let slide? Uh, to all those compulsively
busy nitwits perusing periodicals on the freeways, the pharmacy just called.
Your prescription for Prozac is ready.
Grooming: This is enough
to send an enraged Road Warrior right over the edge. In order to sleep an extra
half-hour, people are using the rearview mirror to apply their makeup, use
battery-powered curling irons to style their hair, and even shave while trying
to drive. Some people even brag they can complete their entire grooming routine
during the morning rush hour. (Although doing it well is another
matter.) Changing clothes, applying deodorant, nail polishing, even
tooth-brushing are being done now as drivers wield around three thousand pounds
of metal at 65 mph. If you start to go bonkers driving behind one of these
nuts, just honk your horn, stay cool, and be glad no one has come up with
porta-potties for the car yet.
Eating: This cannot be
said often enough...if you cannot wait until you are out of your car to eat,
something is wrong with your ability to plan. Health issues aside, Whoppers and
Burritos Supreme were not meant to eat with one hand without seeing what you
are doing. This leads to the following conclusion: if you are not wearing your
food, then you are not paying attention to your driving.
Talking on the phone: How
did this ever get to be legal in the first place? Chatting on the telephone
while driving? Let’s face it, driving and talking on the telephone is
simply too much for some people...and that’s when the conversation is a mild,
uneventful one. Add to the mix bad news, excitement, or anger, and for some
people the car becomes nothing short of a lethal weapon. Shouldn’t there be
some sort of competency test for this? Maybe the DMV could follow behind these
people while someone else calls to say they have just been fired or their
significant other has just been spotted cheating. If they break their speed, or
veer into another lane, talking on the telephone while driving is out.
Entertainment: People
spend so much time in their cars nowadays that many have turned their vehicles
into a virtual entertainment center. Stereo and CD-players are one thing, but
television? Auto manufacturers are now offering a movie screen and DVD- player
in the front seat so that drivers can watch movies while behind the wheel.
Beautiful. Just what we need. Hello. People watch television and movies
to escape reality, folks. Why not just include a pipe holder and a bag
of crack with every new SUV?
Sex: Uh, excuse us for
interrupting, but...do you think you could possibly wait until you get home?
No? Then let us suggest a number of alternatives. Like an hourly motel, rest
stop, or the nearest Taco Bell parking lot. If that’s still not exciting enough
for you, let us introduce you to public transportation. It’s got everything you
want. There’s motion, the risk of being seen, and there’s no worry about
cleaning up after yourself. If public transportation doesn’t work for you, try
keeping your mind off of sex by concentrating on driving. Focusing on the cars
in front of you can work wonders. Lean into it, dude. Or stay the hell off of
the freeways.
Now.....if we could just
figure out a way to make driving while stupid illegal, we’d be all set.
©pl frank
____________________________________
A Stage Play
By
p.l.
frank
Subway Vision is a social
satire stage play that rips the lid off of the popular myths about our social
construction of what reality should be. It is an absurdist comedy-drama
that takes place entirely within a subway car. This surrealistic stage play
exposes the blurred boundaries between illusion and reality as it uncovers why
sometimes life’s answers can be found hidden inside the bowels of a
subway station. Come along for the ride as Subway Vision unearths the
bizarre and twisted reality of modern urban life and its blurred lines between
normalcy and madness. For information about producing this play, email: info@razorsedgepublishing.com
____________________________________
Get
Not For Public Consumption
the novel
Now!
Click
here to get this book at Amazon.com
Click
here to get this book at BARNES & NOBLE
~ ~ ~
Email the author: franklyspeaking@hotmail.com
Visit the author’s webpage: http://www.myspace.com/plfrank
____________________________________